Fishing In The Deep Waters: The Power of Coherence Therapy

Why have I always panicked at the thought of something terrible happening to my loved ones? Why do I procrastinate on things I know would bring genuine joy and success into my life? Why do I lack confidence and resort to people-pleasing, even when I know I should say no or stand up for myself?

These are things I once thought I had to deal with for the duration of my life—or at best, manage through a whole host of techniques (many of which I did try to use). But Coherence Therapy takes a different approach.

In Coherence Therapy, one’s “symptoms” are not seen as permanent fixations within someone’s personality structure. Rather, the symptoms that cause so much bother are necessary on behalf of the subconscious mind, based on a perceived worse outcome that will result if they could no longer produce that symptom. This entire structure is known as a “schema”—an unconscious, emotionally held learning. A schema consists of two parts: the nature of a problem, and the nature of a solution to that problem. The mind is making some kind of prediction that says: “If I don’t do X, then an even worse-case scenario called Y will happen.”

Going back to my own life, why had I always catastrophized the worst-case scenario and continuously worried or ruminated over bad things happening to the people I care about? What we discovered was a schema that went something like this: “I have to constantly worry and catastrophize because if I don’t, then the bad thing will actually happen—and my anxiety can, in some way, exert control over that.” After some clarification and experiential work, we ended up with something more precise: “Bad things can happen at any time and I can’t handle it” (problem), so “I must catastrophize and worry because my worry can stop the bad thing happening” (solution). The solution side—anxiety—is referred to as the pro-symptom position. I was subconsciously using anxiety to defend or protect myself from some perceived worse outcome that I was terrified would occur if I could no longer be anxious.

To elicit this, we used a whole host of techniques. One such technique is symptom deprivation. We vividly imagined being in a triggering situation where the anxiety would normally arise, but this time, we relived that scenario without the symptom. This immediately brought a wave of discomfort, and eventually, the full nature of the pro-symptom position came to the surface: “I absolutely need to worry here because if I don’t, then…”

I’ve come across many other such schemas, each carrying its own internal logic—emotional learnings that were never consciously chosen but formed through past experience:

“I have to underachieve because if I don’t,(Solution) then I will be seen like I was as a child, and being seen was always dangerous.”(Problem)

“If others disapprove of me, it proves what I already know: I am unwanted and disgusting.(Problem) I must avoid rejection at all costs by pleasing everyone.” (Solution)

“Being close is how I get abandoned.(Problem) So I must stay alone to make absolutely sure that never happens again.” (Solution)

“I’ll get attention and connection only if I’m visibly unwell, failing, or hurting (Problem)—so I must fail or hurt in life to get attention.” (Solution)

These schemas are the engines behind the symptoms that lead people to therapy. And they will remain locked and fixed within the subcortical emotional mind for a lifetime—unless they’re accessed and experienced directly. When a schema is brought into awareness and fully integrated, it can feel disorienting at first. It often has the quality of a psychedelic insight. You are seeing, for the first time in your life, the emotional logic behind the patterns you’ve lived by. That alone can be incredibly liberating.

Once a schema is fully and experientially integrated, the mind is ripe for what’s called a juxtaposition experience. This is where things start to shift. The mind cannot hold two contradictory emotional truths in awareness at the same time. If a contradictory knowing is genuinely felt and embodied—not just understood intellectually—the original schema begins to dissolve. The symptom no longer has a job to do. For a few clients, this can be destabilizing. They’ve built their identity and emotional survival around fundamental, reality-level schemas like “I am unwanted” or “Being seen means abandonment.” When those start to loosen or collapse, it can feel surreal.

In my own case, the schema—“Bad things can happen at any time and I can’t handle it, so I must catastrophize and worry because my worry can stop the bad thing happening”—was naturally juxtaposed once it had been integrated and brought to awareness. My mind scrambled for a moment. Then something hit me viscerally: “Wait a minute… I can handle it. Bad things have happened in the past and I did handle them. And anxiety—my catastrophizing—can’t actually control the world.” These weren’t abstract ideas. They weren’t cognitive reframes or affirmations. They were deeply embodied truths, felt all the way through my nervous system.

And when those contradictory knowings landed—when they were felt, not just thought—the original schema simply no longer needed to do its job . It dissolved. And with it, the symptom it was producing fell away too. (This is known as memory re consolidation)

I can say with confidence that I no longer catastrophize around this particular issue. Not because I’ve learned to “manage” it better—but because I no longer need to. The inner emotional system that made anxiety necessary is no longer in place.

So, you are not broken; your symptoms are deeply coherent and make perfect sense based on your lived experience in your past.